1st school day

Yesterday our number one son went to daycare, half day, from 9 to 1 and had a good time. Typically when he wants to go somewhere he'll turn to me (Susan) and say "Mama, car?". Yesterday after staying for 15 minutes and theoretically getting him acclimated, he asked "Mama, car?" only on reflection it was more like "Don't you have someplace you need to be?"So it looks like day care won't be a problem, which we expected since he's so used to being in a situation with a lot of kids. He likes being around them and they are sweet as can be. Also we think it will help his language move along more quickly (though we think he probably uses somewhere between 75 and 100 English words). Next week he'll go for 2 full days.
He's getting used to his grandparents and they are being charmed and delighted.Nannie and Gilly are leaving soon for Naples , so we're trying to do lots with them. Bill and Caroline will enjoy Sunday mornings and dinner 1 night a week.
He also had his 1st appointment with his pediatrician which involved 3 immunization and a blood draw. He was very brave and got 4 band aids. He sat on Susan's lap for his shot and exam.
He's mostly sleeping thru the night , which he could do before we got home, but with all the transitions and jet lag wasn't happening. We're learning about nap vs no nap and figuring out the right balance; he can get through the day without napping but always falls asleep if we're in the car in the afternoon. If he naps he doesn't sleep as late in the morning. Today he was up at 5:30 and if you try to get him back to bed then he wails. Kyle's on morning shift; juice, breakfast, caca, all the good stuff. I've been working so Susan has him during the day, unless I take some time off.
In the evening we have dinner and play for a bit then it's bath time. This is a high point with toys that squirt, bubbles and balloons.
Anyways, it's all going well. Last weekend there was a colossal used clothing sale at a local church where everything was $2 or $3. Ka chingggg! We got lots of clothes for him now and and into the next size or two. We also scored on some "wiggles" slippers (dogs) which he adores, and some winter boots (Spiderman), which, though a size or two too large, he MUST wear at least some portion of every day.
Finally, we can't thank everyone enough for all the goodies that have come our way for Mister Sultan. Katie and Piers sent two full boxes of electronic games and toys that he adores, including a guitar that plays songs by The Wiggles. One thing we all sing as a family is the refrain "Fruit Salad. Yummy, yummy."
love to all,
Susan & Kyle

Settling In

It's our 4th morning at home and we're finally settling in. Sultan is still waking up in the night and we're trying to keep him in bed and get him back to sleep. He's had a few potty mishaps and he has become pickier about food, but loves bananana (his word)and peanut butter and bread. He'll eat most everything if we spoon feed him.
We've had some great times at Taft's (Woods Hole)and the Morse Pond playgrounds. We met Billy, Crissy, Lily and Mattie there and they had lots of fun tearing around. WE all had a hand in his first playground header into the dirt and skinned chin. It was fun hanging out with the other parents too. Yesterday we went to Deb Coloumbe's to watch workers cut down a big tree piece by piece, and feed it into the chipper. There was a boom truck and a chipper and chainsaws.
We went to the beach and he and I got wet up to our ankles when a big wave came in. We threw rocks and played with a bucket and sand. He loves the water.
After the beach, I took him to the radio station where Susan had dropped n on the fundraisier and he opened every door and tried every light switch. Then on to Bill and Carolines where he repeated that behavior. Today Susan will take him over to Nonnie and Gilly's, Cory C. and John, and he'll meet Lilah, their Airedale. We'll see how he does with a pet dog. Lilah's so old, though, that the reala threat will be Sultan, not Lilah.
So, it's all good. Meeting family and friends has been easy and fun. We've gotten tons of toys and books and he love each one better than the last. We'll go to the used clothing sale tomorrow morning, an open house at the Montessori (not that we can afford it, but it should be great to see).
We keep assuming that this will be the last or one of the last postings, but I guess we are having as much difficulty weaning ourselves off writing it as some people said they were in getting used to not reading it.
Love to all of you,
Susan & Kyle

We went to bed early after lots of good naps yesterday and Sultan and I were both awake at 2 am. Susan is determined to get back on schedule, so she's got the covers over her head and Sultan and I are playing and having breakfast. He's in a good mood and so am I.
Cory and John and Kate came by yesterday afternoon and we had a good, good visit. While they were here we gave him a bath which is code for let him play in the tub.
when my parents showed up a bit later he fled upstairs and took to his bed. Bad timing for them.
My truck has become the ne plus ultra of his desires and that would be fine if he didn't have a fit when we take him out. I have to get another carseat cause the stroller/carseat is too thick and his feet can reach the button for the warning flashers.
Today we'll nap and try to visit Billy, Crissy, Lily and Mattie. He's been having a blast with all his new toys, thanks to Mel and Sandy, and Thomas and Mary. The books are great too. We're looking forward to the St. Barnabas clothes sale this Sat. Most of the pants we got him are too long and too big around the waist.
If it's dry enough we'll go to a playground and try to tire him out and get him around some other kids.
It's 4:40 and he's being a pest, wants to play with the puter, so I'm going to sign off for now.
K

Our flights went well and our boy was a trooper. He didn't sleep at all for the 1st leg to Amsterdam or in the airport during our 4 hour layover. There was too much fun, too many things to explore. WE made dozens of trips to the toilet where he mostly played at washing his hands. He kicked the back of the seat in front the whole time but it was empty, so no worries. We had a little handheld game, lots of buttons to press and batteries to take out, a 2m tape measure that retracted nicely for a while, and of course the tray table, always a favorite. No whining, no meltdowns, no vomiting, no accidents, just lots of trips to the john.
Schipol has a sort of jungle gym with netting around the outside and he played with a gang of Scottish kids on their way to Orlando. They were sweet with him and an older boy chided two younger ones to "Don't be so rough, there's a wee lad in there" in the most wonderful accent. It was the 1st time we'd seen him with kids his own age on his own and he loved it, especially when 2 girls 6 and 11 were chasing him around. I think he misses being around his cohorts and needs that kind of energy.

He fell asleep before takeoff on the second leg and slept for 2 hours. Susan and he were in bulkhead seats and I was right behind them. He played and ate crackers. NW has these little controls in the armrest for the video and he played that it was a phone. They also have a video screen on an arm that swings up and he played with that until he got his pinky caught. He cried and we put ice on it and wrapped it up in gauze and when that came off, so did his fingernail. Ouch!! He was really good while we worked on it and he fell asleep after, and slept through the landing. Immigration was a breeze and and soon we were on our way home in the limo that Cory and John provide, many thanks. We all slept a bit and were so glad to get home. We had some soup and bread that Bill and Caroline left for us, gave him a bath and put him to bed in Emma's bed, thanks Annie and Jay. We loved the balloons and flowers.What a great welcome home!!!!
We were all awake at 4 am and Sultan and I watched the sunrise down at the beach. We ran a few errands, went to Pie in the Sky for muffins, and now Susan and he are playing in the bath. I'm ready for my 1st nap of the day but Susan is determined to stay up till noon. Hopefully we can visit with the grandparents in the afternoon.
It's hard to believe we are finally home. It was a long 4 1/2 weeks in strange cities, strange apartments and it will be nice to get back to normal. or rather the new normal, whatever that may be. Thanks to all for the attention and support. It has meant alot to us to know we have such wonderful family and friend.
Peace
love
S+K

Final blog from Almaty, we hope

Our bags are packed, we're ready to go. Aida took us and Marie and Tamas and Ben up to Kokytube, a hill that has great views of the city and the mountains. I was hoping to get closer the the actual mountains. There was a great playground and Sultan had a great fun until it was time to leave and then through a fit. That was his fourth for the day and he just had a fifth at the apartment. Now I know how it feels to be at the supermarket and have your child kicking and screaming on the floor. He's set a record today and I hope it stands for a while.
Aida will pick us up at 4:30 am for our 7:15 flight. We've been strategizing about food, toys, toilet, all the important stuff. We hope he won't get motion sick again and we have crackers and ginger ale if he does.
This morning we went to the nearest church for something to do and they were having Mass which was interesting. Not many chairs and not much kneeling. There are always needy older people outside with cups and we had Sultan give them coins and they blessed him. It was sweet.
We've got some new toys to entertain him on the flights. A plastic slinky, a tape measure, a game that I hope isn't too loud, some stickers, a couple of books. On the other flight he played with the tray table and was happy as a clam. I remember flying back in the stone age when I was a child and going into the cockpit and looking at all the dials and lights and controls. Too bad those days are over.

Embassy

Susan here.
It's been an important day, and we're really, really nearing the end here. Hallelujah!
Our final piece of business, apart from getting to our flights on time, was to have our exit interview at the US Embassy. "Interview" it wasn't, but it was a good experience. It was sort of like being at a DMV. A few tellers lanes, though only one window was open. A roomful of plastic chairs, and a small group of Americans finishing up Kaz adoptions. We knew all but one guy and his new son. Pete was our guy at the window, and couldn't have been nicer. From Buffalo. Long way from Buffalo alright. Anyways, he started by saying, "I reviewed your paperwork last night.... pause.... and everything looks to be in good shape." Hallelujah. This process has been such a freaking paper chase, and I said as much to the guy who agreed, calling it, more politely, "paper-intensive". Yeah. No argument there.
The experience was actually quite pleasant, except for the three photos on the wall of Condy Rice, W, and Dick Cheney. There were 3 other families there and the kids had a good time. Anyways, the guy who processed our stuff was super nice, and we wanted to hug him when he pronounced our adoption experience final, but there was this bulletproof glass barrier so Susan just put her hand on the glass like they do in the visiting scenes in prison movies. Sultan freaked out on the elevator and the guard gave him his flashlight which worked on the way up, not so much on the way down.
To celebrate we went to a cafe down the street and shared a piece of banana flavored layer cake with thick chocolate frosting on top. Susan also ordered a cup of hot chocolate, which actually was a cup of hot fudge sauce. Too, too funny. What must they think? Sultan loved it and has been off the wall ever since. Actually, it was a generally rocky day for him mood-wise. Incredible highs, a wide range of meltdowns. We figure it's sort of like the warranty running out. Now that he's officially ours, he can behave like a wicked 3 yo, instead of the super nice, super obedient little boy we met a 4 weeks ago today.
Bad news for our friends Marie and Tamas. A missing cable to the US Embassy means they couldn't have their Embassy meeting today, and won't be able to leave until the missing cable is sent from the States, and the meeting with the Embassy here is completed. They're having a bear of a time getting the INS (generator of the missing cable) to talk to the US Embassy, all while trying to orchestrate this from here. With luck, they'll leave Tuesday. What a bummer. There is always someone worse off.
Mainly we're bored and feeling isolated. Homesick and missing family and friends. The bonding has been fine but now its time to get back to our new lives. Crissy, I have Sultan signed up at WH Day Care. Assuming they can still accommodate him, he and Matty can be school buddies too. Let's definitely count on the playground date!
And one final story to wrap up the day.
After dinner, I decide to take JSW out for a walk to burn off a last bit of energy before bath & bed. One of the nice things about our location, and about Almaty in general, is that there are a whole lot of fountains in public parks, etc. We're across the street from a performance hall, a big ballet theatre, we think. Anyways, we walked over to see the "big water" tonight and the lights were on, changing the water from white to green to blue to purple and pink, etc. Really nice. And to boot, there were some loudspeakers playing the music to the ballet going on inside. It made for a really special atmosphere. At one point, I was carrying JSW and we passed under a light with a speaker, and S said "musica!" and so under that light, and that speaker, next to the rainbow light show of the fountain, I danced with him in my arms. And I felt so happy, and so full, and I got sort of teary. And I thought, this is what you dreamed of. And it's finally here, and he's yours, and it all really happened. And so I spun us around a few times, which he loved, and then I started to carry him towards home. And as we left the lights and the music and the water, JSW cut this robust fart, and gave me this look and this impish grin and this surprised "ooh!", pretty much at the same time I said the same thing. And honestly, I don't think that whole scene could have ended more perfectly. All the romance and love and happiness and gas all there. And I felt good, and we went home.
Good night all. Good Night Moon.
Love to you all.
Only one more posting, presumably. I wish someone else would start some blog so that we could all stay together virtually. It so amazing to have this web of friends which you always have had, only they're there for you everyday. It's kind of a mind blower. And really, really nice. Please let us know if we can ever return the favor.
Peace and love from both of us.

We're back online

Got up and the puter is working just fine. Sultan has hed 2 pieces of brown bread with peanut butter and is working on 1/3 of a banana and a mandarin orange with apple juice for a beverage. Susan's having a bit of a sleep in.
We saw Nadya yesterday when she came by to get my passport to extend my visa and she said she had 11 families in town. She has to meet them at the airport in the middle of the night, find apartments for them, fix their toilets, etc. We think she's juggling too many balls and we feel sorry for her and hope she can get some competent help beside her daughter Aida.
Today is the consulate at 3 to get Sultan's visa. We'll see the 2 other families we've been traveling with. Yesterday we met Marie. Tamas, and Ben for lunch at the Green Bazaar and had doner kabobs. Then we met Alaina, Andrew, Calvin and Patrick at Tsum, a big department store to shop for souvenirs. There was a display of overhead light fixtures and Sultan loved turning them off and on. The escalator was a big hit too. We had dinner at an Italian place; pizza, lasagna, spinach salad. He ate it all. We didn't bring his stroller, thinking it would be simpler, but he's getting heavy and he was tired so we got a workout. It must be all the carb loading. We've sort of figured out the buses and trolleys. Forty tenge and ride till they make a turn. Yesterday he learned "bus"and he says car or truck often.
We also found a playground with a 3 seat carousel (you know, one of those spinning rides for the bigger kids) that he thought was the best, a big grocery store with carts that look like cars. We found a little stool for him so he can reach the sink (reaching the sink on his own may be a big mistake!). There was a sloped escalator, no steps that we went on while Susan took a turn shopping and we had a minor meltdown when we left. Hard to believe you can have that much fun in a day!
Susan here- we were glad to be social yesterday, seeing the two other couples. A nice break from the fairly apartment-centered world we have been living in, and fun to be able to go farther via buses and trolleys, and see that he doesn't get motion sickness. We are hopeful for the ride home. Oh Beth, he's 3 1/2 this month, so he's definitely ahead of a 2.5 yo.
bye to all!
S & K

Computer-MIA

Hi everyone,
Kate Billings here. I spoke to Susan's Mother today after not seeing any new blog updates only to find out that there has been a minor computer accident involving a glass of water. Hence the computer is somewhat fried and not willing to cooperate. Cory talked to them today and needless to say Susan and Kyle are feeling isolated and frustrated because they have very little way of communicating.

They are fine and so is Sultan. Their arrival has been delayed one more day. They plan to return on Monday, Oct 16.

Some of you may have seen Cory's update in the comments from earlier today.

Here is part of what she heard from S & K, "Apparently Sultan's water glass spilled into the computor and nothing is working. They feel stranded without its use. They couldn't get on the Sun. plane. They will come Monday if nothing more happens.
Despite that they had a great day. Four hours of exploring in the morning and then met friends after nap at a mall to shop and for dinner. Sultan is eating everything in sight and getting round, but not taller. They can't seemto fill him up. They are more mobile than the other couples, because they have babies. I will talk to her again on Saturday and give an update."

Maybe the computer will come around. If not, we will continue to try to provide updates. All our love to Susan, Kyle and Sultan

P.S. Susan and Kyle, if you get this, you might try to put the computer in the oven on "warm". I know that can help with cell phones!

FAQ

So the latest question most asked online is, how are we communicating. So here's the best answer I can give (Susan talking/typing here).
Having grown up with a brother who was deaf, it was a family effort to teach words and pronunciation at every turn. Probably to excess if you were a fly on the wall, but it seemed to do a good job then, and it seems to be doing a great job now.
Since the beginning, I have talked to Sultan about colors, naming yellow, red, blue and green, over and over again. Eventually, he started parroting me, but without apparent comprehension. Also we taught him "car" early on,since he had a matchbox car we gave him the first day, and there were two small riding cars in the playroom at the babyhouse. He learned then to point up to the top of the cabinet, where the cars were kept and say "car". It wasn't until we got here to Almaty, and he had a new matchbox car in hand (this one especially saved for the trip home- and it has literally not left his hand since, with the exception of falling out while sleeping- again thanks Mary Billings!- I owe you a separate email). Anyways, it wasn't until we got here and saw more cars on the street, in books, on tv, etc., that he seemed to have one of those Helen Keller moments that a word means something. And he GOT it- CAR. Also known as "machina". So I know one word there. We've, of course, worked a lot on the words and actions around pee pee and caca, and you know that whole story. Anyways, to shorten up the tale a bit- he can do shapes, thanks to a baby toy we picked up- circle, triangle, oval, square, arrow, "plus sign" (Cut me a break, I don't know the names of all these shapes either! I suppose I could have gone with "cross", but that sounded too religious), trapezoid (not kidding), etc. Some of them he can remember on his own, some he parrots me. He can do Mama, "push the button?" (mostly for the push-button toilets), "put on shoes" (always left at the door when entering inside, and a signal that we're now going outside), "tap", which in Kazakh is book and so it's now "tap, book". I also have a picture dictionary with 1000 kids illustrations, sort of like a Richard Scarry book, and he can say "apple", "juice", "banana", "key", "cool!" and a ton of other things. There's so much he can also say: the sounds of most farm animals, in place of their actual names, and so much more. He also understands about 1000 times more than he can say. He understands "close your eyes",turn off the tv, time to eat (this, often with our shared ASL sign for eating), "where's your/Mama's/Daddy's (back)pack?",etc. We think he's not going to have a problem once he's really immersed in a life filled with other kids, Sesame Street, NPR on the radio all the time, etc.
there are times when he earnestly looks at me and says... something I have no idea what it is. Mostly I motion for him to show me, but sometimes it's just not possible, and I feel like a typical American, expecting everyone to understand me, while I have made next to no effort to learn the native tongue. But whatcha gonna do? Anyways, communication is remarkably good, and I'm grateful that Kyle hasn't gone bonkers hearing me say colors for the one millionth time. Though he did admit that "Cool!" (me saying it, not JSW), has nearly pushed him over the edge!
It's been fun. This is what I would have enjoyed if I had become a teacher, like I sometimes wanted to be.
Love to all,
S (& K)
PS. A minor note- is that one big disappointment

in not coming home on time was that Susan's brother Whitney, one of Sultan's many namesakes, had made a plan many months ago to come to the Cape when we'd be safely back with boy in tow. Of course, our departure kept moving back and back, and then it appeared we'd JUST miss him, arriving a day or two after his scheduled departure. So what did he do? Drop bucks to extend his stay to see us, and now that slim window of overlap just closed. Not the end of the world, but still a disappointment. Still, it's not a grandmother problem, or anything serious, so we're extremely grateful for that!
xoxo

Return Home is Delayed

The visit to the doctor went well. We got to see the 2 other couples and their kids and that was great. Tomorrow we go to the US Consulate for emigration visas for the boys. Nadya said she would take us all to the mountains today. The mountains are close by to the south, snowy and steep. We’ll be glad to get out of the city and into the country. We probably won’t get to see a village or much of the countryside. Oh well.
We took various walks, played on the swings and slide, chased pigeons. Sultan was in a wild mood, charging around ahead of us. If we tried to hold his hand he would go limp until we let him go and then he would zoom off laughing. The pigeons were fun and we found a few little feathers and would blow them away with a puff of air.
We had takeout from the upscale market down the street; fried rice and beef with peppers, yummy. Sultan liked it all and so did we.
Bath time has turned into a highlight of the day. He’s still crying at naptime, but a little less. He obviously needs his nap and we’re determined to continue to enforce it.
Susan was listening to the station this am and we were reminded how much we miss home and our lives and families. We are so fortunate and so grateful for all our blessings.
THREE MORE DAYS!!!!!!!!!

OK. Scratch that. Still grateful for the blessings, et al., but had a visit in person from Nadya an hour ago to tell us that there was a problem. Of course, we think that the grandmother has somehow chased us down or something. Fortunately the problem is an annoying one, but not one that will kill us. There was some problem with a notary signature on all of our paperwork and the net result is that something has to be resubmitted and go thru channels and we won’t be available to leave Almaty until Friday afternoon, missing our Friday flight, and since KLM doesn’t fly Saturday either (there are 2 days a week they don’t fly the route we’re on out of Almaty- Thursday and Saturday), we’ll leave Sunday. This means swapping our flights and getting new seats, etc., as well as extending Kyle’s visa. Should be manageable, though a mild hassle. We’re just relieved to have a problem of this magnitude, and not stuff like before.
We’re definitely bummed. We were just saying today that we’re ready to get home, and this extends that another couple of days.
This problem also has affected the other couples, who we think are having a bit rougher of a time than we are, so we feel for them more than us.

Doing up the town, sort of

Another perfect day in fall Almaty, high 60’s, clear, dry, and calm. We all had a good walk up hill, which is south and seems wrong. Walked to the city admin building, fountains, rose gardens, lots of trees and a view of the mountains. We found a great grocery, very complete and they were making crepes, fried meat pies, broiled chickens and ducks out on the street. We noticed the aroma first. We’ll go back there today.
Sultan is great being all out and around. They say the orphanage kids are unused to all the sensory stuff out there in the world, and we're trying not to overload him, but he is a real trooper, and enjoys being out and riding or pushing the stroller, etc. Really nice for his traveler parents who can't imagine being in a foreign city and not doing some exploring.
While Susan put Sultan down for a nap, more crying, I went off to explore the Green Bazaar. On the way I stopped at the US Embassy, very fortified. The Green Bazaar is green and I was able to get a new pair of reading glasses in one of the hundreds of little mini shops around the outside. Inside is the main food market built around a square. One corner is nuts, dried fruit, and spices. There are Korean women selling cooked food who are eager for you to taste everything. There is smoked fish and a big butcher section with every cut and organ in display. I would have thought it would smell a little off, but no whiff of anything. The fresh fruit and veg was really good too. Lots of herbs and salad fixings. It was great fun and I kept thinking how much my dad would have loved it.
I bought some smoked salmon sushi, some dark brown fried balls that I thought were meat but we think were breadcrumbs and mushrooms, and some yummy roasted eggplant with peppers and cabbage. We had all that for dinner.
After I got back we had a visit from Nadia and Aida about our visit today with the doctor. We also got the phone numbers of Tamas and Marie, and Alaina and Andrew. Marie and baby Ben have a cold or the flu, poor things, and Alaina said they had had to move and Calvin was having a hard time getting used to the new regime. We are grateful for our apt. and our health.
Sultan got us up at 6 am and I’m giving him breakfast and blogging while Susan catches a few more zzz’s. He didn’t fall asleep till 10 and we were up till 11:30 playing scrabble, thank you Mel and Sandy.
We are so glad that Whitney will be there when we get home. And sorry to miss Anne, Jay, Emma and Cara who we know are dying to meet their new cousin. We keep thinking about all of Sultan’s new friends and how much fun they’ll have. We can’t wait for everyone to meet him and hope he settles in quickly.
Love to all,
K & S
PS. For a few brief hours, we had a speedy internet connection. Now, alas, it is gone and we are back to the old, slow style, which is great, but makes posting pics really hard. We'll try to get to that this week before we go.
Also, there is a tentative trip to the mountains with all of us,courtesy of Aida and Nadya, either tomorrow or Wednesday, so that would be GREAT!

The Problem has Passed

Good news, I'll spare you the details,but suffice to say the fruit worked. And he waited until he got up and he asked for the toilet. Ok, I said no details, but we're so relieved and proud too.
He is sitting across from me carefully eating his muesli and looking over here and wondering what I'm doing. He's had some plum, 1/3 of a banana, the muesli and some water. He is very fastidious: about using his fork or spoon, about anything on his hands, A regular gourmand.
The other big news is that we're on a free wireless connection. Yippee. There is an office nearby and I guess they have broadband because it's wicked fast too. Ah technology.
A minor piece piece of clarification. For a while I was taking the lead on writing the blog and getting it out, but we've both been doing the writing here.
Yesterday Susan took a long walk while Sultan and I played in the little playground behind the apartment. We had fun letting his car go down the slide, swinging and climbing. There was a stray dog hanging around and he would yell at it, obviously not happy.
Since Susan went down hill, I of course went up. We are near the German and British embassies. I stopped to look at a big, big building, saw people going in and followed them into Almaty's Central Museum. Good displays of archeological, geological, cultural interest. The building is quite grand.
When I got back, Susan went for another walk while we napped. He didn't want to go down, cried pretty hard, but eventually slept for 1 1/2 hours. We're trying to keep him on the same schedule as far as meal times, napping, bed, etc, as recommended by all the experts.
After the nap we went to Paniplov Park and Susan and I took turns going in the church, which was built without using a single nail. There were men playing chess, kids on rollerbllades, couples on secluded benches, flower gardens which still had a few roses, all very clean and quiet and relaxing. We lost track of all the wedding parties we saw. There is a big war memorial with an eternal flame and each couple would lay a bouquet and have their photo taken. We saw at least 16 brides, all lovely.
Sultan enjoyed pushing the stroller and making the handle go up and down.
Dinner was steamed carrots, macaroni with sauce, bread and butter, and fresh fruit for dessert. We're glad to have all the good fruit but miss all the produce from home.
On the language front, he talks a lot and we don't have a clue. We talk a lot and we think he understands a good bit. He still looks to us for permission, especially about food and toys. This AM he looked at half a banana, pointed and looked at me. I nodded and then he repeated the process with Susan. I guess he's figured out who the boss is. He has started yelling "mamo" when he wants attention and we're unclear if he's referring to Susan or me. He parrots lots of words and that's a start. This is our 4th day with him and we're just happy he's pooped.

On to Almaty

Sultan slept from 8 to 6:45, no accidents and no problems. We didn’t sleep that well.
What an angel when he’s sleeping. On the ride to the airport in Uralsk we discovered that he gets carsick, poor tyke. We weren’t quick enough and he got it all over his jacket.
At the airport we said goodbye to our team and when we were walking across the tarmac he saw the plan. Sultan and started whispering “nyet, nyet” and eventually he broke into a full out panic cry. We got him settled in his booster seat/stroller which he loves, and he was fine for about twenty minute into the flight. He vomited again and then slept for most of the 2 1/2 hour flight. Motion sickness again while landing.

We hooked up with Nadia’s daughter Ida after we got our luggage and joined two other families with our three. There were 5 or 6 pretty nice cars to deliver us to our apartments: Mercedes, a BMW, a big SUV, etc. Ours was the pretty new BMW, which he vomited in, of course (though why wouldn’t you? Driving is a competitive sport here, gridlock seems de rigeur, and flooring it for a run of about 20 feet until you slam on the brakes, is the rule of the road. Another custom is speeding up if a pedestrian is trying to cross. We eventually got dropped off in a really nice neighborhood, lots of trees and upscale cafes and a store that sells imported food. We dropped 50 bucks on this and that, peanut butter, good bread, bad frozen pizza, etc. I think we drank all the Diet Pepsi in Uralsk (this is not saying much as there wasn’t much there to drink), but they had some here and we were happy. Susan got a Heineken. We just had the pizza and it sucked, but our boy didn’t know the difference. We’ll see if it stays down. Now we’ve got “Sponge Bob’s Square Pants” on dubbed into Russian. Kind of surreal.
The apartment is modern, cosmopolitan and small, at first glance, a real gem. A longer look reveals that half the bulbs in the recessed fixtures are dead, the sink is wonky. the chairs are about to fall apart (one doesn’t have a bottom in it to sit on, just the frame), the remote doesn’t work, the sheets don’t fit the bed and the door to the mini washing machine is broken. I just managed to pry it open with my leatherman. The neighborhood is really nice though. Still don’t know what we’re paying as Ida hasn’t called back yet.
Sultan hasn’t pooped for us yet and we’re concerned. Undiluted apple juice, apple slices and banana were our thoughts, since we’ve had past success with this formula.
Susan started running the bath and, like last night, he started crying again. I thought he might be afraid of the running water so I took him out while she got 3 inches of warm water in the tub. I put him in and he cried until I bought in some bath toys, plastic farm animals that you can fill up with water and squirt. They are having a great time, a regular water fight, and I don’t think bath time will be hard anymore.
Susan put him to bed with a headlamp I got for $3 in Uralsk. She read to him while he turned the pages. We have him next to our bed on a little loveseat.
We’re learning a lot and the hard way, by making mistakes. We haven’t killed him yet and we love him more and more. Respect to anyone who ever raised a child.
Almaty seems to be a great city, what little we’ve seen of it. Way more charm, interesting buildings, actual flowers and green spaces, etc.

There is no KLM flight to Boston via Amsterdam on Thursday, so if everything goes as planned, we’ll be on the Friday 13th flight, arriving at Logan at 5:15 pm (and, one of those weird things- it leaves Amsterdam at 3:15 pm.
Love to all,
K & S

Bed, Bath and Beyond

Susan is upstairs with him now reading on our bed. I just spent 1/2 an hour sitting with him while she cleaned downstairs. Showed him how to turn the alarm clock on and off with the snooze button.
We didn’t get to pick up the kids until about 3. They told us he cried all morning, wouldn’t eat lunch. When some other westerners came to visit their child he thought it was us and threw a fit. Just exactly what we were worried about.
The hand off went nicely. We were in our usual playroom and the doctor, the director and the boys main caregivers came in and gave very short speeches thanking us and wishing us happiness. We brought a cake and gave them a cash donation to help with their expenses. It was touching and sweet.
When we got back to our apartment we gave him some pieces of watermelon, cookies, and odds and ends. He’s always thirsty so we let him have some water. We tried taking him into the bathroom and putting him on the toilet on this plastic seat that goes over the regular seat and he freaked. We tried taking him to the upstairs toilet which is bigger and showing him the shower with the same reaction. He’s afraid of the bathrooms. I ran out to the store and got a little plastic potty and we held it while he peed into it, no problem and obvious relief. We’re figuring it out. He loves the carseat/stroller we brought and he just fits in it if you take off the canopy.
For dinner we had left over chicken and penne with butter for Sultan and red sauce for Susan and me. He’s got a good appetite, handles his little plastic fork well, sits up, chews with his mouth closed, what more do you want? He works the food on demand concept, something new to him no doubt. His little belly was full and round. We gave him some pieces of pear and a section of orange for dessert.
We gave him a bath in the tub and he cried and didn’t like it, but he wasn’t panicked and by then time we were done he was fine. Got him in his dinosaur jammies and into the big bed and he was happy to just sit there and play with the alarm clock. Susan was able to get him to eventually switch to the all-new, inflatable Barbie air mattress which we happened to pass in the supermarket at the Atrium today while shopping for the cake to bring to the baby house. So he’s at long last asleep, no tears, alongside Susan’s side of the bed. I doubt any of us will have any trouble sleeping tonight. It was a big day for all.
Tomorrow we catch the 10 am flight to Almaty. Nadia should be back with the kid’s passports by then. We leave the apt. at 8am sharp. More hoops to jump through in Almaty. We have no idea where we’ll all stay there because a big energy conference is finishing up and all the hotels are booked. Susan knows the sister of a friend who lives there and maybe they’ll have an idea. No worries.
Its all good and very sweet and we are enjoying our boy, our son. Every time I think of saying “This is my son” I think I’m going to cry.
peace
love
Kyle and Susan
PS: a footnote on pronunciation. We’re calling him sool-tahn, which is how they say it here.

a few photos we've had

We are Three

Today it happened.
Today we became a family. After all the craziness and the ups and downs, it’s happened. Sultan is officially John Sultan Whitney Loucks.
Court happened at 10:30, right as scheduled. Marie and Tomas went first, at 10, and when they came out, and their 2 week waiting period was waived, we knew there was really a chance. The court lasted for about 20 minutes or so. Susan thought it went relatively fast, Kyle, waiting outside, thought it went impossibly slowly. The judge asked all the basic questions- why do you want to adopt, what is your name, who will care for the child, etc., the woman from the baby house read the medical report (intending to make his physical health- which is great- appear dire and in need of immediate attention), the social worker read something. The prosecutor did his job suggesting that the waiting period be enforced. However, the judge ultimately granted the adoption, and then waived the 2 week waiting period. Susan cried and we both continue to be amazed and really calmly happy.
The rest of the afternoon was taken up with rushing around filling out paperwork in one location and more paperwork in another, picking up the new birth certificate, and Sultan’s official adoption certificate. Later, the whole group (all three couples, and the the team came over to our apartment where we got our final bits of information- briefly, it looks like we’ll head to Almaty Friday, and if everything falls into place, we’ll be free to leave for home by Wednesday night. All our possible flights are in the am, so we’ll research whether our KLM flight flies on Thursday. Another scenario is that we leave on the 13th as originally scheduled. This would get us into Logan on the 13th as well. We are so happy and relieved to have come this far. All the credit goes to our team of Nadia, Igor and Almira, who really hustled and worked very hard.
We won’t pick up Sultan until tomorrow and we are missing him. We didn’t see him yesterday either so we’re jonesing. Tomorrow we’ll go to the baby house one last time to get him. We’ll bring some treats for the kids and the nannies.
Tonight is a perfect ending to a monumentous day. We just made dinner for the other couple, so that we could all be together- and so they could do their laundry- and it was great. It’s fun seeing how creative you can be with meals when the shopping is so different and when you know we only have the fridge another day or so. Anyways, everyone is watching a DVD together, and then we’ll walk Andrew and Alaina halfway home.
Tomorrow we head to the baby house around 2, they think, and then we begin our life as a family. Any suggestions on what to do next? What do 3 years olds eat? What do they do? What should we do? Actually, I’m mostly kidding. We can’t wait to be in his circle of energy again. We’re going to have a ball!
They are unsure of where we’ll stay when we get to Almaty. Right now there’s a big oil conference going on there and all the hotels and short-term apartments are booked. It should all clear out by the time we get there Friday, but it’s anybody’s guess, right now, where we’ll end up. They are hoping for three separate apartments near one another, which we all agree would be great.
So, if you have a pre-blog life to get back to… you can. We’ll keep posting, or at least we plan to, but the moment we all have been waiting for is just around the corner. The adoption is complete, the waiting period is waived, tomorrow Sultan comes to live with us and we start to function as a family.
We’ll keep you all posted.
Much love and thanks to everyone for your continuous… everything: prayers, notes of support, good vibes, phone calls, advice, blog comments,…all of it.
We really, really appreciate it, more than you’ll ever know.
Until we blog again…
Oh yeah, one last thing… well, two.
You are going to LOVE Sultan. Really. He is a pistol.
And lastly,
YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!

The Home Stretch

Here is most of everything that happened yesterday-
Pre-court went well. We went first, which we both appreciated, and the questions were perfunctory and easy. It was in the judge’s office, and was attended not only by us with Almira, but also by the director of the baby house and the gold toothed social worker we bumped into at the market. It took about 7 minutes. Our second court is set for Wednesday at 10:30 am. We have plane tickets to Almaty for Friday, 10am. We are cautiously hopeful. If all were to go well, we would get custody Thursday, the day after court. Of course, we still don’t know what will happen with the 2-week waiting period (enforced or waived), and that is key. We’re still holding our breath(s?) on that one.
Today we are stuck in the apartment because Vladimir Putin is meeting the president of Kazakhstan here in Uralsk to sign an energy deal. We’ve been told not to leave at all, because we would be asked for our papers, etc., if we were out on the street, so we’ll read, play scrabble, cards, nap, etc. It’s an official holiday for workers and all the stores will be closed. We won’t see Sultan again until after court on Wednesday.
Yesterday when we visited in the morning (only one visitation since yesterday afternoon was pre-court instead), S was crying when we arrived. The caregiver said it was because he was waiting for Mama. Would that it were true, but who knows? Sounds like the perfect line to tell a pre-adoptive mother.
So, that’s the report. Please keep praying or sending the good energy. We’re not out of the woods yet, it’s not over til it’s over and the fat lady sings. When we get off the plane in Boston I will heave a huge sigh and kiss the ground.
Update from today- Tuesday- finally connected to the ‘puter, and can report that our trio of helpers: Nadya, Almira, and Igor stopped in this morning to help us complete paperwork, a process that took well over 90 minutes. This is paperwork that will be needed at the Embassy in Almaty whenever we get there. We have our fingers crossed. PLEASE, if you have any last few good vibes left in you, we could use them!
Much love & good tidings to all.
xo,
S & K

Pre-court Day

Today we will have a morning visit. Pre-court is at 2 and we’ll go in series.
Yesterday we had normal visiting times. Our coordinator, Nadya, arrived during the second visit. She is the woman who met us at the airport in Almaty two weeks ago. She, with her daughter , whose English is good, will be our coordinator and her daughter our driver/translator in Almaty. We haven’t seen Nadya since that very first meeting, so was good to have her back on the case. Nadya sat in on the visit with Sultan and Susan asked her what she thought of the grandmother situation and she said that she thought it was going to be alright, but that if the grandmother came back, we would have no choice. She described the grandmother as “Bad woman, veddy bad woman.”
After the visit all we came back to the apartment, Nadya, Almira, Igor, Susan and I to go over business things, most specifically money. Tomas was making dinner, paprikash, a Hungarian beef stew, and the apt. smelled great. Marie and I served tea. We felt like we got points just for being good hosts. (Odd how you see every little nuance as being a pint for you or against you.) The first order of business was to review the gifts we had brought. It can’t be stressed enough in our paperwork that we have waded thru in this process that THESE GIFTS ARE NOT BRIBES. These gifts are NOT bribes. SO we need to say it again? These gifts are in NO WAY bribes. So there is absolutely no confusion here about the purpose of the gifts. Anyways, Susan showed them the gifts we brought for the women who work at the baby house. There was conflicting info about what to bring; silk scarves vs beauty products. Susan spent an inordinate amount of time and energy on these items and was relieved and thrilled when they were praised highly. Thanks go out to Caroline one of Susan’s online acquaintances who steered her away from the recommendation of fashion scarves and wallets… (they sound like Mother’s Day and Father’s Day gifts! Really. How many scarves and wallets does a person really need?) … and grooved her into the really appreciated gift: cosmetics and perfumes. Anyways, the plethora of Burt’s Bees kits, calendars from the Cape, assorted nail polishes, lipsticks and little makeup bags hit the right not and Nadiya’s announcement, as “Veddy nice. Veddy nice.” Nearly made the whole adoption nightmare worth it.
Then into the kitchen for the private conference about money. We paid Nadia our per diem expenses for the first 15 days. She asked for the big cash lump sum payment and Susan asked if we could make that after we got custody of Sultan, feeling like no tickey, no laundry. Nadya agreed.
Speaking of Sultan, he was kind of bratty this afternoon, just when we wished he would behave. He was into everyone’s stuff, tossing toys and squealing. Not so cute, but he has been a little too perfect. I think he is getting bored. I know we are. The visits follow their own routine; go thru the packs, pull out the favorite toys, phone adaptor, calculator, cell phone, put them in the lego truck, zoom around the room until bored, play with the box of toys Tomas and Marie gave him, jump on the lid of the box until it comes off, get Susan to fix it, off, fix it, off, fix it, off. His new trick is playing with the key to the room we’re in. He needs help getting the key in and likes to turn it with the door open so he can see the way the latch works.
Dinner was great; paprikash, rye bread, salad. We had a good talk about parenting, sharing ours hopes and fears We’ll cook tonight; roast veggies and chicken. We’ll have the other couple, Alaina and Andrew, over for dinner and laundry in a few days. Their apartment doesn’t have a washing machine.
We had more fun exploring the market. I could spend the day there just people watching. The people here are such a mixture of European, Slavic and Asian groups and the combination can be exotic and striking. Hardly anyone speaks English, so communication is difficult, but they don’t have a lot of attitude.
Yesterday in traffic we were next to a car driven by a guy in his twenties with his mom in the front and his sisters in the back. He turned up the tunes and started bobbing his head forcefully and his sister pulled his hair. We were watching all this and when they realized we were, they laughed and we laughed. Flashes of gold from their teeth. One last point in our favor was seeing the social worker at the market (speaking of gold teeth- her most distinguishing feature), and warmly greeting each other. We felt that had to count for another point in our favor.
So wish us luck this afternoon. Full report tomorrow!
Much love,
S & K